what i wanted to write about on Friday.

i don't want to be one of those people who always dreads seeing her family. i don't want to be one of those daughters that complains about her parents, or the sister who doesn't like her brother in law.

but life happens, and its hard to help not feeling what you really feel.

this year my bf & i decided to host Thanksgiving. i don't really know how that happened, but apparently we had taken a crazy pill and decided it would be a good idea.

truthfully though- with the millions of issues my family has, i thought that my apartment would be a neutral place; perhaps my mom wouldn't be as stressed out hosting it at her place, and my sister and her husband wouldn't have to worry about people sitting on their couches (another story another time). and since we live in a mid-size city, if people get cabin fever and want to go and do something, there are places to do such, unlike the small towns they are from. and also- my bf probably has to work that day. (also another story)

after lunching with my mom & sister today, we ended up "discussing" this idea. my sister doesn't know how her husband will feel about this, since apparently he thinks my bf doesn't like him. which- in manipulative woman speak means he doesn't really like my bf. and after numerous details put to my attention in less than an hour, i wanted to take it back. forget being hospitable, forget giving thanks.

i realize that may seem a bit overdramatic, but that is exactly this reason why i sometimes dread this time of year. everyone wants to be together and plan plan plan. but everyone wants to have their own way and do their own thing at the same time.

despite my hurt feelings i tried to let it go. i realize its easier said than done to split time with two families when you happen to have a significant other. and i will not force people to come celebrate if they don't want to or think being with other people that day is more important. i'm just sick of the same old story. i'm sick of not getting to spend more than 1 hour talking/being with my sister a month. and i'm sick of the same old immature bullshit being thrown in every direction ever since she got engaged.

just being honest here- maybe too honest. but if thats what its come down to then maybe its just not worth it to martha stewart it up this year.