as i start to write i feel almost compelled to tears. its been quite a hellava two weeks. not in a bad way, but i've just experienced so many different thoughts and feelings as the holiday season encounters us, and now i finally get to relax for awhile.......and i'm actually feeling kind of lonely.
so maybe i'll write about everything, or maybe i'll just write what my fingers type.
today was Thanksgiving, and i have to say considering the past 2 thanksgiving's in my life have been horrible, God knows how grateful i am to say that today was blessed. my boyfriend and i actually hosted Thanksgiving dinner this year (even though my mom still did more than her fair share of work) and i can honestly say i have no complaints. and for those of you that know my family history, know that that is a miracle in and of itself. it was such a truly "good" day, in and out, that i was actually a little sad when it was time for everybody to leave. why can't the good days happen more often? but actually, in the life of my family & i, i've noticed that things are starting to calm down. there's still the obvious issues that will never go away, but i think that we are all growing up in a sense and realizing we can't change each other so we might as well cherish each other for who we are- no matter if we agree about certain things or not. and i also have to say-although this might be going out on a limb here- that i think Jesse & i have filled our apartment with so much love in the past 4 years that i think part of the reason for the good day we had is that guests feel welcome and peaceful in our home. at least i hope they do. we may not have nice furniture, or matching silverware, or a table big enough for 6, but we have opened up our home because that's what the holidays are all about right?
a couple days ago our close friends from CO came to visit. another truly wonderful encounter. i actually did cry that night, albeit briefly. it was one of those situations where i hadn't realized how much i had missed my dear friend until after the apron strings were tied and we were cooking together. if only there was more time! but oh well, i am thankful for the night we all did get to spend together, telling new stories and reminiscing.
and last weekend we went down to see Jesse's family to celebrate a Thanksgiving time with them. unfortunately i was sick last week, so by the time Saturday had rolled around i didn't even feel like going anywhere- and was slightly overwhelmed about all that i had to prepare for in the week to come.
but now that all my "thanksgivings" are over, i have to admit i've never felt so loved and i'm truly grateful. despite the hallmark tones embellished througout this post, i am so lucky to have so many people in my life that love me. i just wish i could give my friends and family far away a Thanksgiving hug too.
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