seeing

i don't want to jinx anything, but i think we had the first rain of springtime yesterday in Des Moines, Iowa. it wasn't cold enough to turn into snow or ice, and helped wash away some of the ickiness of winter- e.g. sand, salt, dirty ice mounds, etc.

unfortunately, because of the excess water from snow melting and precipitation our apartment flooded again. probably the sixth time we've had flooding problems since we moved in. and while it is stressful and endlessly frustrating, at least i'm not too suprised anymore. we had new neighbors that moved in this week and i actually had a dream a few nights ago that our apt. flooded, albeit for different reasons but you can see how the wet floors we found yesterday wasn't too much of a shock.

and since i'm on the topic of issues with my apartment/building managers, they found our "secret" mini charcoal grill when they were doing inspections last month and we had to get rid of that. but at least we got to have yummy grilled meats and vegetables for one summer.

still, its ironic to me how they can see something as a grill- covered with snow until yesterday- more of a possibly harmful condition than the potential mold and mildew that comes with several floods. i know its easier said than done to replace the entire carpet, and/or to move to a different place. even if we moved up a floor we would probably have to add about $100 bucks to our fixed rent we have right now, and we just can't afford that.

so needless to say, it was kind of a gloomy weekend. i had plans to clean the entire apt. as will have company next weekend, but it all seemed a futile project until we can get this most recent mess all taken care of. i did get some things done, but mostly was just lazy and watched a lot of movies.

tonight i watched At First Sight, with Val Kilmer. in the words of Chandler from the tv show Friends, the movie is a "tutti-frutti love story about a blind guy." i had seen it a couple times before but for some reason was in the mood for a good ole chick flick. and i noticed some things in the movie i hadn't noticed before.

basically, the main character "Virgil", has been blind his whole life and undergoes experimental surgery where he gains his sight back temporarily. the biggest struggle for him is not just seeing, but understanding what he sees, since he has little to no visual memories to relate to. during his "occipital exploration", if you will, he notices graffiti on a van, and thinks its beautiful, and therefore immediately "corrected" by his girlfriend that it is offensive. he also passes homeless people on the street and doesn't understand why its important to ignore them and look away- he just wants to see and take in everything he can!

its amazing to me how much we that are gifted with sight, not only take for granted, but also expect and rely on our eyes to guide us through life. appearances seem to be the most important thing to judge by, at least from the perspective of pop culture. what if, for a day, we saw something, someone, and had no precendented assumptions or beliefs, we didn't see good or bad, ugly or beautiful, fat or skinny, worthy of being our friend or not worthy, we just saw it-them, for what amazing things they can do?

its a nice concept to think about but like replacing the carpet or moving, so much easier said than done. maybe its not our sight that we rely on, but rather, the conditioned reponses we've grown up with that have taught us how to respond to what we see.

sometimes i think, myself included, that we're too sight oriented and forget to look through to the heart of people. just because they're important or powerful, doesn't mean we need to please them. and vice versa. why is it so easy to judge a singer for the way she's dressed, instead of how beautiful her voice is? why is it so easy to point a finger at someone who smokes, when they are an amazing artist? why can't we just see people for who they truly are?

it seems such an ordinary or perhaps, elementary idea to fall back on. but sometimes its good to go back to basics and remember what's really important.