going's on

tonight is one of those nights where i feel like i should blog...for various reasons.

1) i have the computer all to myself

2) i have no other obligations, &

3) every other day this week i've felt i've had something important to say.

but now all my recent happenings just seem like fleeting thoughts and hazy moments. it really is all about kairos, isn't it?

so now i will write about the concept of time and energy. and how its wierd that things seem so detrimental when i'm sleep deprived and hungry, but after a filling meal and some downtime with the boyfriend, i feel refreshed, and writing about it seems an afterthought.

nothing terrible has happened. nothing wonderful has happened. life seems to be- if only for a while- stable. and i feel content.

i've had both bad days and good in the past couple weeks. but without my usual angst about when i'll get the next "pink slip phone call", i don't know what to be worried about.

before you throw stones at my undying optimism & happiness (yeah right, by the way ;)), let me just say this. i was reading an article in a magazine the other day...4 authors were interviewed and asked the same 4 questions. one of the questions asked something to the effect of "what creates good writing?" or something like that. one of the authors answered (and i'm really, really paraphrasing here folks), "good writing is what happens when you speak truth. if you get caught up in what you think a normal person would write about, or what someone wants to hear, you lose passion and that's where the best writing comes from."

i've always believed that, but it was nice to hear a published author say it, right? nonetheless, i took great heart in this statement. sometimes i've spoken off the cuff and let it all hang out. other times i've written a sappy sonnet, or ended a post with "but that's okay, because, you know, i'm so blessed, blah blah blah." and while it may be true, it's not always the truth of how i feel, or how life is going at the time.

but now, i guess i just wanted to admit that while i have a history of talking about only bad things, or talking about only good things after feeling guilty about talking about all the bad things, i've decided to just speak the truth. how ironic, now, that the truth is mostly good things.