tangent(itis)

for me, tangents, "soap boxes", etc., can be as common as the infamous cold. they creep up unexpectedly, and sometimes take a week to get over.

today i'm feeling frustrated because of a text message i received. i don't understand how some people who rarely talk to you, aren't afraid to text you out of nowhere and ask you "hey- are you working full time yet?" or "hey, you should apply at this financial institute, or that mortgage company....i heard there's an opening in the foreclosure department, etc.

its not that i don't appreciate their consideration, but seriously, i do have a life outside of work, believe it or not. also, i think its rather condescending for them to dwell on a topic that i didn't even bring up!

in fact, the last time i "talked" to this old work friend, she had sent a text inviting me to her roomate's birthday party. i declined as i would be gone for the weekend, but said it was good to hear from her and asked her how she was. and of course, she replied with, "good, how's your job? are you still a temp? you should apply at this place, etc." and when i replied with, "well, i'm looking into some other options, because i think i want to work with kids again," she replied with "haha, oh sarah..." no joke!!

and she's not the only person who does this. i have another friend- another person i used to work with - who, everytime i hang out or talk with her, she almost always brings up my job situation, whether i do or not, and of course, tells me when and where i should apply. and of course its always the same place, and not only do i have no desire to work there (putting aside the fact that i need a job with good benefits), but i feel so frustrated that somehow i'm being held accountable for my career choices, whether i'm "choosing" or not.

and to give people the benefit of the doubt, it is an easy small talk topic to abridge the gap of "what should i say next?" but i think it bothers me the most when people are just asking to ask, and they don't really care. and maybe i'm being hasty in my judgement, and just feeling animosity towards the real problem- that i am still stuck in a dead end job. but that is all the more reason why i don't always want to talk about it!!!

its one thing when my mom brings it up, and we actually have a productive discussion about such; its one thing, when a close friend sends me emails for job postings that i actually have an interest in. but its quite another when someone who i've kinda lost touch with feels they have the right to offer advice out of nowhere- especially in the form of a deflated text message, and especially when i didn't ask for it.

and maybe these people just want to take the focus off of themselves, or maybe they really do care, but it just seems a bit ironic. heres why: this is the same person who i hugged, consoled, and listened to when her family disowned her for living with a lesbian...the same girl who i comforted and stood by as she was going through a tough divorce and fought for custody of her only son. and the other is a friend who i've sat through many "should she stay with her boyfriend talks", and even left my boyfriend in the middle of lunch on a saturday, to hold her hand while she received threatening calls from her very real international stalker.

so in the scheme of work relationships, these were unexpectedly deep, and it just seems trite and unfair of them to inquire about my life and not offer me any feedback about theirs, especially considering their recent past.

or is it me whose being the unfair one and expecting too much from people? i know i do have that tendency sometimes, and i don't want to be hypocritical, but honestly, this is why its so hard to keep up with certain relationships. its not that i want these particular women to regress or dwell on past hurts, but at the same time, we should be able to talk about more than just work. especially when -to be very blunt- i don't even give a fuck about my job right now. and thats the truth.