time to reflect & write

okay so first of all, holy cow. i haven't written anything since October. that is nuts, but life has been nuts, so to speak, with the Holidays and all that they bring. so i'm finally making time to write something, because i miss it, and finally have a day off with no present obligations or sickness holding me back.

right now life stands still for just a few hours.  i can clean again and prepare for more company. i can be grateful for time with family and friends, and thankful that i have enough family and friends to keep me preoccupied for more than just a day. i can reflect on recent tragic events; be thankful that the school shooting was not the school my sister teaches at, and that the shooting in central Pennsylvania affected my grandparents only by way of  that they knew a couple of the victims, but were not victims themselves. i can be sad that jesse's last living grandmother passed away before Christmas, but grateful she was put out of her misery, and grateful once again my grandparents are all still with us.  and  i can still be in my pajamas at 2 pm, and be happy we had a white Christmas, for the first time in years.

they say that Thanksgiving is the holiday to be thankful, but i think it should and want that to extend into Christmastime. speaking from experience, it's easy to get caught up in the materialistic-ness of the season.  as a person who loves to give gifts, it's easier sometimes, to give than receive. it's easy to not be grateful, because you spent so much time and money on "ONE DAY" it seems, and even thought it's not over it feels like it is.  it's always so easy to forget the real "reason for the season", and take time to just bless people by a kind word or a smile, when you have to go into work on a day that "the office is closed, but you live right across the street, so we need you to go in for a couple hours....". its easy to be frustrated when you make time to see almost everyone important in your life, but for some of them (e.g. parents & in-laws) it's either not enough time or the wrong time,  and your efforts to make them apart of your life don't always feel appreciated.

but i get today. i get to write today and reflect today and be thankful today and not work and not travel today.  it's very much needed. and too bad it's about half over. ;)

the next 3 weeks and weekends will be busy and hopefully joyful doing all of those previously mentioned things. and i'm looking forward to it.  but here's the thing; as good as it is to "keep looking forward", sometimes by doing that i forget to enjoy the present. and the present isn't all bad.  the present is what makes the past that i'm always so romantically nostalgic about.

so that's what today is for. and i'm going to milk it for all it's worth. and to quote one of my favorite "Coldplay" songs,


 "All winter we got carried away...

 ...No, I don't want to battle from beginning to end,
I don't want to cycle or recycle revengeI don't want to follow death and all of his friends...
....And in the endWe lie awake and we dream of making our escape"




ALSO,

there are a lot of other things that i've been thinking about for the past 2 months off & on, and wanted to write about but just haven't made time.  so here are the topics, and you readers can decide the matter of my next online essay.(and perhaps I'll write about all of them, in time.)


"Maybe Freud was right; is everything phallic? Or is sex just exploited?"

"Why working with middle aged woman makes me feel inadequate."

"Being out of debt = more bills to pay?"

"My life in 5's- my top 5's in everything." (a re-edited sequel to "Sarah's  Top Ten" from a couple years ago)


So nothing too serious, just some musings from the girl who psychoanalyzes everything.